Truth be told I look forward to the weekend from about 10am Monday morning. I long for the adult company and conversation of Hubby, I relish the idea of being able to split the parenting duties, not being the only one saying ‘no’. It is very common for me to post something on my Instagram with some sort of Friday or weekend reference, ‘Happy FriYAY’, ‘Have a great weekend’, ‘Can’t wait for Friday wine o’clock’. Etc etc….. I like these posts by other people but when I do it all I manage to do is to piss myself off. It doesn’t matter what we have planned for those glorious two days of double parenting the weekend will always be a disappointment.

As a stay at home mum I am naturally on hand 24/7 for all the needs of the girls. Other than 15 hours a week that Pinky is at preschool I am the go to girl! We are never apart. So I understand that it becomes very normal to ask me for something when they need it, from food to cuddles. I truly get it. HOWEVER, it would be nice if they could learn that their father is equally capable of providing for them. When they are physically sat on his lap having cuddles, or playing a game with him it would be nice if they didn’t leave his company to hunt me down and ask me for a snack, or to take Pinky to the toilet. Call me melodramatic but they really do hunt me down, in my own home and pull me out of whatever corner I am hiding in trying to get 5 minutes peace whilst I can. Ok,y it’s their home too but I swear they have infiltrated every single part of it. Even my makeup bag has their hair bands in it!

Believe me Hubby does try. He genuinely tries to get the girls to understand that he is more than capable of getting their preferred snack out of a cupboard for them. He tries to inform Pinky that he too knows where the toilet is in the house and could be equally as capable as Mummy in the art of arse wiping! But no, only mummy could possibly do it right!

In some ways I know I should be flattered, happy even, and definitely enjoying these days whilst they still very much need me. And I am under no illusion, I know full well I will long for these days back when they are gone. Living through them is a different story though.

Things have changed in our household recently. Hubby is working longer hours and is traveling more than he has ever done before. One week the girls saw him Monday morning then not again until Friday evening. They missed him loads and wouldn’t leave him alone. I think they would have cuddled him for hours if it wasn’t nearly bedtime. It was really cute, they are actually showing huge signs of being ‘Daddy’s girls’ where for years they have been ‘Mummy’s girls’. I saw a light at the end of the tunnel, I thought to myself that as much as I miss Hubby when he is away if it means the girls get to enjoy the time they spend with their Daddy more and maybe appreciate his presence I may get a chance to deal with one less toddler request over the weekend.

Alas no!

It doesn’t matter how much they miss him only Mummy could possibly complete their request properly. Only Mummy deserves to be screamed and shouted at, tantrumed at, because only Mummy could possibly understand the reason and all consuming need for a catastrophic meltdown over a fleck of dust on Dolly.

So with another weekend over, another Monday morning looming, have I been on call all weekend?

Oh yes!

Will I still sit and long for next weekend most of the week?

Oh yes!

I will always remain hopeful that next weekend will somehow be different because without hope there is only despair. And that is not a healthy place to parent from on a regular basis.

Of course Wednesday’s wine o’clock helps, or is it Tuesday’s? Or Thursday’s? Meh! They all help….

Cuddle Fairy

 

Dear Bear and Beany

Posted by Winnettes

A Mummy to two little girls blogging about Parenting and Food with some other little snippets of life along the way. The adventures of Pinky & Perky make me laugh and cry in equal measure.

29 Comments

  1. Mine are the same, hubby works long hours in London so is away early and back when they are asleep. They love daddy but its mummy who gets the constant mummy i am hungry, mummy, mummy. yes the friday wine o clock is so lovely xxxx #bloggerclubuk

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  2. Ooh this is like our house sometimes. It can be a bit suffocating can’t it? Even with all that love. My escape is evening bathtime sometimes and I love that tiny bit of me time. #bloggerclubuk

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  3. Haha this is my life…and yes they do all help!

    #BloggerClubUK

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  4. Hi Kirsty, my husband had and still has the same trouble. My two have always turned to me for everything, even now as older teenagers I am the first person they turn to. Maybe it’s the peril of being a SAHM!

    I hope you do start to get a little reprieve from Mummy duties at the weekend, we must always live in hope!

    xx

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Yes I think it comes with the SAHM territory very much. At least the hope remains.

      Like

      Reply

  5. We seem to have a lot of these weekends, when the mundaneness of the week spills over and by Sunday evening I’m feeling like I haven’t even had a moment. I hope that you have a weekend off soon, or even just an hour!! #sharingthebloglove

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. They are very exhausting aren’t they!? I hope you get a break too.

      Like

      Reply

  6. Mine is the opposite to this at the moment – at the weekend, it’s all about Daddy. Daddy has to play with him, Daddy has to read the bedtime story, Daddy has to do dinner. I’m not going to lie, I like the break, but it’s hurtful to be shoved out of the room! I get it though, he only sees Daddy in the mornings in the week, so he wants to make the most of him. I wonder if he’ll change as he gets a bit older. Thanks so much for joining us again at #SharingtheBlogLove

    Like

    Reply

    1. There is never a balance is there? No matter what we do as parents. I can see how that would be hurtful. Especially when you do your best for them. These little ones really know how to push our buttons. For me I appreciate and love that they need me but some days I’m so close to complete exhaustion and my brain feels under used, it all gets a bit much. Despite it all I know I will long to be needed by them again one day.

      Like

      Reply

  7. I hear ya! I have this all the time too, even when they do ask their daddy for something. They will then come and check that daddy is doing it right, or is daddy ok to do that? It drives me mad. The worst is when my husband does it too and I tell him you are the parent too, you need to be able to answer this stuff too!! Thank you for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove x

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Haha! Yep, I always get asked if daddy is OK to do that? They are funny creatures toddlers.

      Like

      Reply

  8. Aaaw you poor thing! I’m a SAHM so I totally get this. Thankfully my girls usually like the novelty of having Daddy home (plus he’s more likely to say yes to thins that mummy would say no to!). But when it comes to bedtime, it has to be Mummy. And then we have arguments about which one mummy will put to bed. So then I end up doing one and then going and putting the other one to bed as well! It’s nice to be wanted, but it really is hard work #SharingTheBlogLove

    Like

    Reply

  9. My eldest can be the same, I find the best thing I can do (for both of us!) Is to just escape for a little while (even on 15 mins) to go for a walk or something, it helps remind him daddy is just as capable as mummy! #sharingthebloglove

    Like

    Reply

  10. ahhh bless you…I totally understand. I work full time but my team are abroad and I am either alone or with my darling babe Monday-Friday, so by the time the weekend comes round there is SO MUCH pressure on us to make it awesome!! Prob too much pressure! #sharinghthebloglove

    Like

    Reply

  11. So great to discover your post via #SharingtheBlogLove Hopefully this weekend will be a better one!

    Like

    Reply

  12. I feel you! My hubby works as a manager in retail and doesn’t have a specific roster so his hours working and days off vary from week to week. It can be so hard sometimes.
    Hope this weekend is a better one for you lovely.
    Naomi xxx
    #SharingtheBlogLove

    Like

    Reply

  13. Kirsty - Motherhoodery September 29, 2016 at 6:36 PM

    As a fellow SAHM I totally understand how much you look forward to the weekend. My little one is only 15 months so at the moment he is happy to get what he needs from either one of us, but I’ll be on the look out for mummy emphasis! One weekend, it will change and then you’ll probably miss it 😉 x #SharingtheBlogLove

    Like

    Reply

  14. I totally get this. My hubby woks away for ten weeks at a time, but is also home for ten weeks at a time too. But even during the whole ten weeks he is home, mummy seems to be the only one the kids will ask for drinks, snacks, bum wipes etc. Again, hubby is fantastic and tries, but the kids have none of it.
    #SharingtheBlogLove

    Like

    Reply

  15. Are we living parallel lives? You *must* be talking about me. I am a SAHM to 4 year old twins. My son idolizes dad, but still only wants me to do the “stuff” for him. Only mom can wipe his fanny properly or give him a bath or help him look for the missing dinosaur. My daughter is entirely another creature. Her daddy can be gone for a week at a conference, walk in the door and try to swoop her up in an embrace. What does she do? She’ll shriek “Mommy! Mommy!” Oh, it hurts my soul. As a bonafide daddy’s girl myself, I hope this is a temporary stage. Fingers crossed….

    Like

    Reply

  16. Double the Monkey Business October 1, 2016 at 9:31 AM

    This takes me back to when I was not working. I can completely understand this, I used to find monday mornings so hard 😦 Even now I only work part-time and I find because I am the one that is around the boys walk past daddy to come and ask me to do stuff – it can be a little frustrating! xxx #sharingthebloglove

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. I get annoyed st myself for finding it so frustrating but it is what it is. I’m sure it won’t last forever. (She says hopefully)

      Like

      Reply

  17. I completely get this! Now my daughter is a bit older the constant requests have died down a bit and now she’s in school I do get a little more peace but all that time ‘alone’ is really just spent working at home now! #sharingthebloglove

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  18. This sounds so hard! I keep waiting for my son to say his first ‘mum’ words but one day I’ll probably be waiting for a break! #Sharingthebloglove

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Unfortunately you may well do one day. With my first I spent a lot of time encouraging her to say ‘mummy’ with my second a spent all that time encouraging her to say ‘daddy’ 😀

      Like

      Reply

  19. I think that’s just kids isn’t it? I could be in the shower and my daughter will come banging on the door asking for something even though hubby is in the same room!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

  20. Absolutely the same happens here, although the OH does kind of do shower/bath time (although not the drying/getting pjs out/actual bedtime) and now N’s older, the occasional helping with get breakfast if I’m tied up. He’s worshipped because N gets to go on the farm with him. But apart from that, everything is done by me. Even if the OH is downstairs with N and I’m upstairs, it’s not acceptable for the OH to do what’s being asked.

    I feel your pain.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    1. Oh yes this is all familiar!

      Like

      Reply

  21. I feel EXACTLY like this every weekend. My toddler goes to nursery on a Friday so it’s just me and the baby but I still never have any time away from both of them during the week. It also means that, come Saturday, she’s exhausted. And very whiny! My poor hubby just wants an easy weekend staying local whereas I want to escape the same local scenes.

    As for asking for me instead of him, I’m glad you say there’s light st the end of the tunnel. I put both kids to bed every night having been up with them both in the night and from the moment they wake. It’s just not worth the fight with my daughter though – she clings to me and cries! Have you not had enough of me by now??? Really??? Anyway recently I had to go out before bedtime and we explained I was going to the the gym (untrue, I was going out for drinks but she saw me once in gym stuff so it was the easiest explanation). Now, once a week I leave my hubby to put her to bed by explaining I’m going to the gym. Even though I’m in my PJs or downing a glass of wine…

    Like

    Reply

    1. Oooo I love that idea! I think my girls would buy that!

      Like

      Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s