Am I allowed to miss them? – Daddy

Everybody has diffrent motives for getting up on a Monday morning and going to work. Mine, well thats easy. Pinky, Perky and Mummy. Thats all, provide them with what they need. Somewhere to live, something to eat, and for them to have clothes on their backs.

Simple.

Errr… not exactly. Monday morning…Alarm starts going crazy…snooze snooze snooze.  O S*** I’m running late. Car Keys, Wallet, laptop…now where did I leave that?  In the car; traffic – a nightmare. Finally make to the office in perfect timing someone else has just boiled the kettle.

5 times this week I will do that and each day it will get harder. Not because I don’t like working (I don’t, but I like the money).  It gets harder because every day I miss my family.  I miss their laugh’s, their cry’s and their smiles. I wonder what I miss when I’m not there. The dance that has the big finish, the laugh that just doesn’t stop, the dinner all over the floor, the drink’s bottle that has now been turned upside down and is leaking onto the floor while Pinky laughs at it.

If I wasn’t at work, I would never get the welcome home smiles, the cuddle and the look at of joy from Mummy. I’m sure its the type of joy which means I can help.

Until next time…

Daddy

X

Mini Mummy – Mummy’s perspective 

Everyday I watch my daughters grow, both emotionally and physically. Everyday Pinky looks more like Daddy…. Those big blue eyes that change in intensity depending on her mood and tiredness (exactly like Daddy’s), the dusty blonde hair, the face shape. Perky has a few more of my features, darker hair, rounder face, but still those beautiful blue eyes. I wouldn’t change it for anything, truth be told the blue eyes were the one thing of my husbands I was desperate for our children to inherit… But emotionally Pinky is ALL me! She doesn’t just copy me and my mannerisms, she has my deeper personality, the thought processes that make me Me. This of course has both pros and cons. 
Cons..

  1. We clash…. Regularly! She knows exactly how to push my buttons. I know this is a ‘trait’ of all children but I swear she has an unfair advantage! This also works the other way. Although I know her ‘triggers’ it can be really difficult after being moaned and shouted at for an hour not to accidentally make things worse out of frustration!
  2. She has my good and my bad traits. I don’t mind nurturing the traits I deem to be good but it’s very difficult to see the bad ones in my daughter. I don’t mean bad as in naughty or nasty, just the insecurities… The need for comfort and reassurance. A lack of confidence with lots of other children. I didn’t think this was that odd and she certainly isn’t on any ‘spectrum’ but she naturally prefers smaller groups… Not a devastating issue but I remember feeling very ‘lost’ in big groups and even now I struggle in groups over about 6 people. So now I do my best to help he feel comfortable in all situations… Hopefully this will improve in time.
  3. Daddy gets a bit of a raw deal…. He has two women in his life that can be temperamental at exactly the same time! But then again…. Get used to it! One day they will be teenagers and even if little Perky turns out to be more like Daddy two teenage girls will be a whole other hurricane! 
  4. She is stubborn. As an Ox. Enough said.

Pros…

  1. I can bend her to my will! It can take me a while to remember but she has the same emotional triggers as I do. Even at 2 1/2 she feels a rudimentary form of guilt…. And yes I have been known to use this to my advantage. Judge all you like the child is in bed getting the vital sleep she needs! 😉 no longer screaming at the door or sleeping on the floor as soon as I leave the room. And this was achieved without the usual bribe of chocolate buttons… Mummy win.
  2. We enjoy the same things. Even at this young age she is a Disney fanatic. Apparently I would sit and watch Disney films all day, over and over…. So does Pinky! I actually have to ration her film time these days…. Not that she just sits there, she gets up and dances to all the songs and sings to any she knows. And cake…. Anything involving cake and she is happy…. And so am I!
  3. She loves to learn. So do I. I’ll learn about anything I’m interested in and some things I’m not if I’m in the mood for knowledge. I really hope this doesn’t fade, I hope I can keep her passion for learning alive throughout her school years and beyond. I don’t expect either of the girls to be genius children, only that they apply themselves and do their best. However, I know that that is more achievable if you get some enjoyment out of learning and not just the subject you are studying.  

We have two beautiful daughters and one of them doesn’t just mimic me, she is very naturally like me…. Time will tell which personality Perky is more like. 
Good luck Hubby x 


 

Goals – Daddy

  
My Parenting Goal: Mould Pinky & Perky like clay into individual people with manners, drive, ambition, determination, a sense of humour, and to care about what they do (work or play). Be as good a father as mine is to me.

Progress Report
… Need more water. Moulding clay is much harder than it looks on the telly. 

Patience is a virtue…

Children must leave behind a special kind of patience in their mothers when they are born. I do not possess much patience naturally. I never have. Yet somehow I am finding the patience to let Pinky attempt to put her own shoes and clothes on. I’m finding ways to accept that it takes 20-30 minutes to get out of the house but also ensuring it doesn’t take any longer than that. I find ways to remain calm when Perky fills her nappy just as I’m about to walk out of the door. The energy to read the same book over and over comes from the depths of my mummy patience. 

I don’t know where this patience comes from. The only explanation I have is that the girls gave me some before they were born. It’s a good thing they did because it seems to reduce in potency with each Pinky tantrum and each time she uses her ‘whiney’ voice. But it’s nothing a night of sleep can’t refuel…. I’m sure I’ll get one soon. But in the mean time cuddles help. Not the ‘comfort cuddles’ that come with the tantrums. The cuddles for cuddles sake. And kisses. The best stress relief for me is when Pinky and Perky sit and laugh together, usually at nothing at all. Patience levels are definitely restored after that! 

  

Tuesday – Mummy

I like Tuesday. I always look forward to Tuesday. It’s the day of the week where I get to spend the whole day with Perky by myself. Pinky goes to nursery for the day, we kept her going even whilst I’m off work so she still has a place when I return. I enjoy making the most of these days, Pinky had me all to herself for a year, so Perky deserves her one day. I try not to make too many plans, try not to have too many ‘errands’ to run. Tuesday is reserved for playtime, naps, food and smiles. Our cuddles are uninterrupted and her smiles are savoured.

I need Tuesday and I’m going to miss it when I return to work. I need the chance to relax a little whilst Perky naps. I need a day without tantrums, without trying to think of constant distractions or negotiations, and a day without ‘Mummy’ being the word of the day.

I miss Pinky though. I miss her energy, her laugh. By the end of the day so does Perky. Now she is 6 months old she is really absorbing the world around her. She watches her sister run around all day and I can see how much she tries to reach out and follow her. As much as I love Tuesdays my favourite part is the end of the day when Daddy brings Pinky home. I get to hear about everything she has done at nursery, all the playing and painting. Sometimes they even bake biscuits and cakes and she looks so proud of herself as she tries to tell me all about it. The best thing about home time is the smiles that the girls give each other. The love in their eyes and the excitement on their faces when they see each other is indescribable. Even today the first thing Pinky asked me when she got into the house is where her sister was to say hello. She gave Perky a huge cuddle and kiss on the head.

I like to think that because Pinky has had a day away and missed me that she will be lovely on Wednedays. A happy and bouncy two year old for the day that is a joy to play with. Maybe we will all go the park because she has been so delightful. However, I’m pretty certain that, as per usual, this idea will have been shattered by Todzilla at least three times before 9am.

Never mind…. There’s always tomorrow to start again.